When Bill* and I first started dating, I had no doubt he was interested in me.
We would text first thing in the morning and talk all day about everything and nothing, and often I would send him a text right before I went to sleep, and the first thing I saw on my phone the next morning was a message from him.
I went round and round in my head until I was in a full panic and decided to tell a friend. "Ghosting, or suddenly disappearing from a relationship with no explanation, has become an all too common topic in my therapy practice," says relationship specialist Chamin Ajjan, M. This can cause someone to take the easy way out and just back away, rather than facing a situation head-on.
As Ajjan explains, "In an attempt to avoid an awkward situation, the ghost' not only causes the ghosted' normal pain associated with rejection but also causes additional pain related to grief, loss, and being disrespected.
Looking back one year later, my brain has blotted out much of the months I spent with my ex.The Fear Factor: It goes without saying that it’s not so great if you fall into the extremely picky camp. What causes someone to be so picky and overly discerning? Extreme pickiness is a giant blob of defense mechanisms with an underlying fear of a real long-term romantic relationship.Underneath it all, people who are extremely picky are afraid to depend on someone for fear of getting hurt.He promised me things that felt too-much-too-soon but also kind of wonderful—that he'd bring me and coffee every morning, that we'd go away the next weekend together, that he would get me a plane ticket to meet him in Europe while he was away on business. "I don't want to rush into anything and regret it." "Don't worry," he responded. If I didn't, I'd be mysteriously gone." I wanted to believe it all. I left his apartment excited at the prospect of what we had started.But then a whole day had passed—the longest we had gone without any interaction since we started dating. "He is totally into you." But then another day passed. "I often hear clients beg for an explanation of why someone would do this. But for some, there is a struggle between what they believe is right and how they behave."Logically, I get it—but that still doesn't make it right.