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'They disappeared one night a few years ago and I heard I might be able to find them here.

Please contact me if you have any pertinent information.'It was back to the smutty references for 24-year-old Alison who said a relationship should be like a Nintendo 64 - 'classic, fun to spend hours with and every issue easily fixed by blowing on it then shoving it back in'.

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Looking back at my now over relationship, I must admit that the best (and worst) part was how quickly I forgot what a gong show it is in the dating world.

I was nicely encased in my bubble of happiness and had completely forgotten how ridiculous dating, specifically Tinder, was.

Not only are you the dating equivalent of uranium, but you kind of smell like Bengay. The company has just released Tinder Plus, a premium version of its service that costs a different amount based on the age of the user.

A collection of hilarious Tinder profiles gone wrong has been viewed more than 6,700 times after being shared to Imgur, including that of Ricky who admits he's 'not the best looking' so doesn't care about appearance 'Honestly, I'm just here looking for my parents,' he said.I only pry because I want to let you know -- for your own good! But it's also been speculated that it has to do with crude dating supply and demand -- basically, the more decrepit you get, the harder it is to find someone who will want to rub your ankles (not to mention, body parts), which means you need to pay more to find that elusive match. Not only are you dateable, but there are definitely still people in the world who want to touch your body. Those under 30 pay a scant .99/month, compared to .99/month for septuagenarians age 30 and . Drifting through the concrete of New York, we put on a strong face as we weave through the morning commute to make sure we aren’t a minute late to our sub-par desk jobs, hoping, praying that someone beautiful will notice us. We are ghosts longing for the answers to life’s hardest questions. We want that spark, a meaningful reason to keep working hard. Without even formally meeting, hours would go by on that damn phone. If conversation went flat, the person on the other would push out whatever came to mind to keep the flame burning hot. But yet just another cultural practice that faded out, a victim to the harsh realities of a more technologically integrated society. Talking on the phone is unheard of these days thanks to text, Facebook chat, dating apps which we already know. It meant something, something our children will never be fortunate enough to experience. Yup I think so, my friends think so, my parent’s think so too. Yeah I’m not that young and I remember those days crystal clear when many of us would talk on the phone for hours and hours with girls or guys we were curious about.

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