After being single for many years, my friend William is now in a great marriage. He finally accepted he had to go to gatherings with people who shared his passions.He said to me, "Ken, I'd come home from work and just want to turn on the TV and relax at home. Check off enough items and you’ve got a shot at a fulfilling relationship. When you get close enough to someone, everything changes. If you want to fulfill the quest, you’ll need to change the rules. They have the same feeling about you, that you’ve got something just for them. It will be your only opportunity to find out what you’re meant to discover together.You want a companion, a partner, someone to build a future with. The thin shell of your mundane existence cracks, and something magical trickles in. You might even need to start off acting as you would if you were already close, as if you’re already partners. How will you spend the few precious hours you have? Concerns like these are always buzzing around beneath the surface.By Ken Page Midlife is a perfect time to get more real in our relationships As a psychotherapist who has worked with thousands of single people over the past 27 years, I’ve come to the conclusion that the way we’re taught to approach relationships is more likely to lead to heartbreak than to lasting love. Best of all, I’ve found that this approach, which I call “Deeper Dating,” actually favors people in their late 40s, 50s and older because at this stage of life, we are much less willing to waste our time in the pursuit of unhealthy relationships.Whether you’re just getting back into the dating game or have been at it for a while, you’ve probably experienced some of the anxiety that comes with the search for true love. I’ve boiled the dating process down to four steps that are likely to lead to healthy love.The steps I describe in this post and in my book will not only lead you toward real love; they will also enrich your entire life, because they are the skills of true intimacy.Go Where You're Likely To Find Generous, Giving People Forgive me for starting off with the hardest one of all.
We recommend you leave time to stick around at the end of the day.Yet in our 20s, 30s and even our early 40s, most of us weren’t ready to listen. But as we enter midlife, the idea of building sustainable and sustaining love becomes more compelling than ever. Try Cooking Together First) 4 Steps to Finding Lasting Love 1.Give up on your “attractions of deprivation.” It’s easy to become attracted to people who can almost commit -- who treat us wonderfully then demean or ignore us.It sometimes almost made me sick to go out to meet strangers again and again, but I knew I had to.And that's how I found real love" Please note that I'm not suggesting you stop trying to meet people online.