I wanted others to be their authentic selves, truthful and free, but I could not do that for myself, so I continued giving up and giving in.
Not all was bad—life is beautiful in each form—but I knew I would need to learn something different, as I always struggled with fear and anxiety. It’s taken a long time, but things have been getting better.
I sat there comfortably in the chair of my therapist’s office, and with a deep breath I knew that “it” was over.
I did not know what “it” was, or the amount of work and change that would follow, but I knew that I was ready and willing. From the influence of an alcoholic, narcissistic father to the string of narcissistic relationships formed afterward, my identity evolved through who I was to others and what I had given to them.
Expressions of love, even when they are part of cute gifts, send a message.
If Erica and her boyfriend have not yet reached the stage where they can honestly say “I love you” in conversation, to send this message through a gift would be deceiving.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a healthy relationship, of course.
Frankly, I think most humans want to love and be loved.
They argue that relationships are nurturing and that we’re naturally meant to be dependent. The point is that codependent relationships are not only painful, but can be unsupportive and destructive.This creates high reactivity for couples who constantly are blaming each other for their own feelings and defending themselves when their partner shares his or her feelings.What’s missing is a sense of separateness between them known as emotional boundaries.Codependents have problems receiving the good stuff that relationships can potentially offer.goes into great detail about the difference between codependent and healthy, interdependent relationships, between healthy caregiving and codependent care-taking, and understanding the boundaries between responsibility for yourself and responsibility to others, something that eludes codependents.