"You assume your kids understand that mom needs a life outside of them. "He asked about him almost daily, for months," she says. The problem is not that they get attached to a new person, but that exposure to a parade of new people creates the potential for more loss."At its heart, this is about trust," says psychologist Leah Klungness of Long Island, who specializes in single-parent issues.
They don't."Mistakes 2, 3, and 4:* Introducing her children to the first man she liked.* Allowing him to spend time at the house, especially playing ball with her son, then 8.* Giving him a peck on the cheek one day as they parted. Children are likely to wonder, "Who can I count on to stay around? " Some blame themselves: "I'm not lovable." The more loss there is, the more distrustful they can become, including in their own future relationships.
Two weeks ago, on a night Shana was with her father, Friedman cooked dinner for the twins and the man she has been seeing exclusively for two years. "I'm very mindful and protective of their emotions."Overkill?
Not to Elaine, a mother of three who asked not to be identified because she's in the midst of divorce proceedings. The first was starting to date two months after her separation."You go through a selfish stage when you split up," she says. "' As awful as that was, it was worse to see her son so miserable when the relationship ended. Children of divorce have already experienced loss, maybe trauma.
Feature Article Arthur Schneider, Human Development Specialist, Cooper County, University of Missouri Extension According to researcher Constance Ahrons, who completed a 20-year study of children of divorce, about half of all American children will experience a parent’s remarriage before they reach age 18. Census Bureau, have only recently begun to recognize this trend.
That's generally healthy for the adults; it means they're moving on to the next phase of their lives. Marilyn daughters, Shana, and twins Alison and Rachel, were 4 and 19 when she and their father split up after almost 27 years.Does anyone think for a moment that adult children want to hear all this?And even if they do, that they have any business hearing it?When I met them there was a third person standing there, a young man in his mid-20’s or so. As our meeting, continued, Ted’s discomfort was obvious to everyone but Margaret (and maybe Margaret too).Parents of young children who go through divorce may drag their children into the fight, but at least they know better.